Texas bound

So a lot has changed for us over the past few months. Prince Charming got  an offer to merge his company in Canada with a company in Dallas Texas.  We thought of it for many months and decided that it would be the best way to make a good living with less stress, less travel and more time with the family.  We had just moved to Ontario two years before and had just finished renovating our new house in Cambridge, the kids were just getting settled in their new environment and it was starting to feel like home and we put our house up for sale in preparation to make another big move, this time to Dallas Texas.  Just let me say that my kids were far from pleased with this decision.

My girls not happy to be moving again.

I have to say that I have been excited, apprehensive, exhausted and hopeful all at the same time. The idea of living in a warmer climate during the winter, a higher standard of living and a exciting new adventure helped me focus my efforts to prepare for the move.

It has not been easy. Moving seven people across the border and trying to get settled in a new country and new state has been gruelling.  There has been so much paper work .......and I do not like paperwork.  But we have prayed and fasted and prayed some more and even though the process has not run smoothly we have always felt like this was the right thing to do.

Museums and Central Park 

We took advantage of the long drive from Ontario to Texas to take a little detour to drive to New  York city on the way.  We had planned to go there during our time in Ontario but hadn't been able to find the time so we made sure  we took the trip while we were still so close.  It was  wonderful holiday.  The kids favourite part was playing "ManHunt" in central park and taking the ferry to see the Statue of Liberty.  Maggie got to cross an item off her "bucket list" of shopping on 5th avenue, I had fun with that one too.





After four days in New York we continued our journey to Dallas, going through Virginia, Nashville

Nashville Tennessee

Tennessee and Little Rock Arkansas. I love traveling and seeing new places so this was a thrill for me. Although most of it we had to just drive past on our way it was still fun to have been there.

Sweet shots by the hotel pool.

It has been like a game of musical chairs since we arrived in Texas.  We first lived in a two bedroom suite at the Home Wood suites for one week.  There we enjoyed a beautiful pool and two meals a day for one week.  Then we stayed at some friends  house while they were away for another week, then we moved into a three bedroom apartment that we have been in for the past 2 months.  We have purchased a house but we are waiting for it to be completed. We are hoping to get in this week some time.

We have met so many meat people.  Most everyone here seems to be from somewhere other than Texas so it allows for some interesting neighbours, but everyone is so friendly.  My kids have made friends fast at church and have already been invited to a couple birthday parties.

I am anxious to get settled again but I have to keep reminding myself that we have been very blessed and things things will work out.  These life adventures are a test of our ability to stay close to  Heavenly Father and our patience so I know that it is for our good.

I love it here in Dallas but I miss my family and friends dearly. We are not sure why the Lord thinks we need to be here.  Maybe just so our family can be together more.  But I look forward to all that He has planned for us here, I know it will be great!
Happily Ever After

I'm back

Many times over the past few months I have glanced up at the big B button that will connect me to this blog and will compel me to write something.  I have wanted to, really, but I always find some excuse not to.

I have a lot of good excuses: five kids, a dog, selling our house (again), renovating, painting, volunteering,  visiting teaching,  pure laziness, the list goes on. I have two days a week that I do not have children at home so you think I could write then right? There are so many other things that distract me, or that I think are more important, or that actually get in the way.

Not only am I constrained to write by distractions but I know I let those distractions in because I am lacking confidence in my writing.  Where once I felt like I didn't have very good ideas for writing, now I have tons of ideas, and they get flowing, but when I go to write them down the well dries up and I begin to doubt. Thoughts come into my head like "what am I  trying to say here?" "nobody is going to want to read this", "why do I really want to write?"

 The last question I have been asking myself a lot.  WHY DO I REALLY WANT TO WRITE?

Sometimes I have visions of going into a book store and finding a book that I wrote, with my name on it right out in front - preferably on the best sellers shelf.  I've dreamed of being the next Stephanie Meyer -  stay at home LDS mom turned big time author.  These are both compelling thoughts, the first one being the one that most excites me.  But if this was all there was to my passion than I think it would have fizzled within a month.

I have realized that why I really want to write is because I feel like I have something to say.  I have never thought myself to be a brilliant person, not even very clever.  But I have been inspired by life in many ways and when I feel inspired I feel prompted to share that experience with others.

I had a neat experience this last fall that stemmed from a heart breaking tragedy in my family.
My youngest brother and his wife were expecting a baby girl last September, this was to be their fourth chid.  They already had two sons and a daughter and were excited to welcome another little girl into their family.  They have always chosen to birth their children at home with a midwife and so on the day of their newest child's arrival they were at there home going through the process they had done three times before but with a tragic end, their little girl was not born alive.  She was full term and beautiful but that was where her young life was to end.

I received a phone call from my older sister later that day to have me phone her back as soon as I could.  When I did, she said that she was standing beside our brother in the hospital and he was holding his baby girl,  her body swaddled in his arms but she was gone.

I could not believe it,  this didn't happen in our family.  My parents had 11 children, 40 grandchildren and nine great grandchildren that were all living and healthy.  My heart sank.  I was so far away from my family, from my brother, I wanted to give him a big hug but a whole country kept us apart.

I tried to stay in touch over the next few days to see how they were doing and to find out the plans for the service.  I so wanted to fly home.  All of the rest of my family was traveling to be there but it was not a quick car drive for me.  I was grateful that I could pray for them and I strongly believe in the power of prayer to comfort those in need but I wanted to do more so I prayed about what I could do.  When I heard that they planned to name her Eden, I burst into tears, "little, beautiful Eden" and it inspired me to write a poem.  I prayed for the words, looked up scripture but nothing seemed to fit.  The funeral was happening the next morning and I wanted them to get my gift that day.  I thought about it into the night but went to sleep with nothing concrete, when I woke the next morning the first line was in my mind.

This is the poem:

If I Could Go To Heaven

If I could go to Heaven, even for just one day,

I'd kiss my Lord and Saviour, there's so much I want to say.

I'd awe at all the marvels, the beauty that surrounds,

My heavenly home would be familiar, His presence all around.

I'd seek out all my loved ones, those who'd gone before, 

Even those I'd never met, I'd knock upon their door.

Like women of the scriptures, prophets new and old,

Friends and family I'd never known, but whose stories I'd been told.

And one, our little Eden, who left this world so young,

I'd love to get to know her, a story just begun.

I'm sure she's like her brother, whose singing fills our hearts,

Or possibly like Ephriam whose deviance is his charm.

I know she's like her sister, such beauty is for sure,

Ellies eyes, her smile, her twinkle she can distantly allure.

I'd tell her about her mom and dad, two people I adore,

Their faith and strength are an inspiration for all that they endure.

But I can wait for heaven, it's presence is always here, 

With family, friends and loved ones, Heaven is ever near.

I'll continue with the plan, my Father has for me,

I'll work and pray with joy and hope and seek eternity.

I miss you little Eden, someone I never knew,

I look forward to forever so I can have my day with you.

I have read this over and over because I know that I had help in writing it and expressing my thoughts and feeling.  I was grateful to know that my brother and his wife liked the poem and they framed it and put it beside little Eden's casket at the funeral. That made me feel like I was there with them.

I am grateful for the knowledge I have of God, of this life, of eternity and of who I am.  I want to share that knowledge in my writing some how and inspire others.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Mayhem

I feel like our lives have been complete mayhem for the  past five months.  After spending most of our time in Mississauga deciding if we should stay in Ontario or head back to Alberta as originally planned, we decided that we would stay. This decision broke my heart because of all the things that we would be saying goodbye to.  We were just supposed to be on a year long adventure in Ontario, NOT STAY! It came down to the fact that Ontario is the place that Matthew needs to be for his business.  Things have gone very well here for him because he is here full time and not flying back and forth.  We have definitely seen him more since we came here with him and  with all our prayers, having him around was the strongest answer to the question of whether we should stay in Ontario.

 Once we finally made the decision to stay we had a another painful decision of where to live.  We really liked it in Mississauga but we did not like our landlord and we knew we had to move.  We tried finding another rental but nothing worked out and so we looked into buying.  I was appalled to find out what the cost of housing was in Mississauga.  We realized that for the size of house we needed to fit our family we would have to pay 6-700,00 dollars for something we didn't really like, needed renos and had no back  yard.  We were frustrated because we wanted to stay in Mississauga. We loved our ward at church, the kids had made some great friends and Matthew was close to the head office of his businesses main client.  I was online for hours looking for options and I had four realtors sending me properties to rent and buy in the area.

I have a cousin that lives out in Cambridge and  I decided to look out there.  Everyone we talked too said that it was so far out  of the GTA and that it would be a long commute for Matthew that he would hate, but when I looked at the price for housing I got excited.  We could buy a lot more for our money and it was near family - something that I was desperately missing.  It took a lot of convincing to get Matthew to agree to even look. I felt like I was being very selfish pushing to move out there.  Matthew didn't want to leave the ward or commute ( neither did I), the kids did not want to leave their friends and we would be starting all over again. But I felt like we needed to find a place that we could comfortably afford and that is what finally convinced Matthew too.

Since making that decision it has been constant work getting it done.  I feel like I have moved 10 times when in reality it has only been three times in the last 3 months.  We had to get our house in Edmonton ready to sell so  we hired our contractor that has helped us before and a friend who is a painter and got the house ready to sell.  I felt bad for our renters who were going through many challenges of their own: preparing to move to Mississippi, three little children and another on the way, and a father who was re diagnosed with Hodgkins. They were great though, very willing to help through the reno and showings of the house.

We put the Edmonton house on the market on the beginning of June and had a couple of offers but nothing that came together.  Then when July hit the viewings dropped dramatically and we became a  bit worried.  We really needed to sell so that we could then buy before the end of the summer or we would not have any where to live when we came back to Ontario after packing up in Edmonton.  We decided to get out of the rental we were in because our lease was coming due and we did not want to continue with the landlord for any more time and we planned to go back to Alberta for most of July and August to pack our house and see our family and friends.

While we waited for our house in Edmonton to sell we packed up all of the things we had accumulated over the last year in Mississauga and put it in storage.    I stayed to finish up the move in Mississauga with the older two children so that they could finish their camps and football season and Matthew took the younger three and drove across the US.  It took them four days and they drove straight to Calgary and picked us up at the airport.  They looked very tired of the car.  But our journey was not over.  We drove another 8 hours to Vernon where we stayed a week with Matthews father and stepmother at their cabin on the Okanagan.  We had beautiful weather and a wonderful time  together.  It would be our only vacation time over the summer because we then headed straight back to Edmonton where I drove Matthew to the airport to go back to Toronto for work and I started packing.  Thankfully the house sold the first week of August, at a lower price then we wanted but we weren't too disappointed, we knew we had gotten what it was worth.

While Matthew looked for a house in Ontario in his spare time I  tried to purge as much of our belongings as I could.  We wanted to spend as little as possible on moving and we decided to get rid of all our furniture except our dining room table - I couldn't part with it, it was our first piece of furniture I really liked.  I had garage sales over two weekends and I felt exhausted after the first day.  Most of the stuff I was selling I still liked and wanted but couldn't justify bringing it with us. I didn't even have time to price the items before people were showing up trying to get everything for free.  Some things I know I gave away and others I couldn't believe that I got what I was asking for.  It was all a very hard experience for me letting my memories go to someone else.  But I kept the most important things and I know I will make new memories in our new home.

We enjoyed very much seeing our friends and family.  There were so many people that we missed seeing.  Doing this move over the few short weeks of summer made it so that many people were away when we were in Alberta so it wasn't the reunion we had hoped it could be, but we were glad to see a lot of our loved ones before we moved away.

 As I was packing  the items that we weren't selling and getting ready for the moving company, we still did not know where we were going to live when we got back to Ontario.  Ironically the market had picked up in Cambridge and any of the houses that we had looked at before our house sold were selling quickly and we were running out of choices.  We put an offer on one house that I had never seen and we were turned down.  It turned out it was owned by two men who were not speaking to each other and couldn't agree on what the house should sell for.  We made attempts at offers to them and in the end they took the house off the market.

The house we did get was a "fixer upper" that we had looked at before going to Alberta but because there was a lot of other choices at the time we weren't very interested in this one.  I really did not want to have to deal with a lot of renovations.  Well guess what, there are a lot of renovations needed. We decided that it was the right size and right location and right price and it has a lot of "potential".  In fact it will be the best house that we looked at once we have it fully renovated, so we are happy with our decision.

Matthew came back to Edmonton just in time for the moving company to load up.  Then we loaded our van with everything we forgot to put in the truck and we said goodbye to our house of five years and to Edmonton - the home of our hearts.

We were still finalizing the house deal on our drive across the country back to Ontario.  We found that there are very few places that offer print and faxing services between Saskatewan and Minneapolis.  We finally got the deal done and enjoyed a day of shopping and playing at The Mall of America.  It's cool but not as good as West Edmonton Mall.

Having just closed the deal on the house while driving across the country, we were not able to move in right away.  Thankfully my cousin Todd and his wife Paula let us crash with him and their family, which was pretty awesome because they live in a huge house on a lake with a pool and lots of fun things to do.  When we got possession of our new home I took the kids over and showed them the new house, they were not impressed.  I described the plans that we had for renovating it and Noah said "great, you guys stay here, I am living with Todd and Paula".  He really enjoyed their XBOX.

We moved in a week after school started.  We moved all of our Mississauga belongings from the storage unit and set them up but we knew we couldn't really settle in because we were going to be gutting the main floor in the next couple of weeks and would have to pack a lot of it up again.  We tried to be settled in as much as we could but there are a lot of piles everywhere.  We enjoyed two weeks of half settled life and then we went back into caos when our kitchen was torn down, the flooring on the main floor ripped out and dust was settling everywhere.  A huge blessing is that we have been led to some great trades people that have been honest, efficient, reliable and reasonably priced so that we could get through this ordeal.  We have gotten to know a small group of the Portugese community through the network of trades we have met.  The relationship they have with each other reminds me of the feeling of community we have as members of the church.  I have really been impressed with them.

 We have been living without a kitchen and flooring on the main floor for two weeks but we are now at the stage where they are putting everything back together. The flooring is going in this week and the kitchen cupboards come in next week.  I have a brother who with his wife, renovate whole houses on their own and lived in it for months if not years. I do not know how they could handle it.  I am going crazy to be organized again and have a place to cook other than a microwave and a toaster.

I know some day very soon we will be settled in this house and we will be able to do things with it that will make it feel like our home.  We are missing our life in Alberta very much, as well as our new friends in Mississauga.  But we have been very welcomed in our ward, schools and neighbourhood here and we know with time we will be at home.

Happily Ever After!

New house

Old house

Football

For my writing class we were asked to write a piece  about a place. I decided to write about being at my son's  first football game.

Football

It's a beautiful May, Saturday morning.  I walk onto the field with my twelve year old son Jack.  The turf is bright green with no blemishes except the fresh white lines that outline the playing field and large white numbers stamped every ten yards along the side lines.  Two bright yellow goal posts face each other in  either end zone like colossal pitch forks. Six mammoth light posts surround the stadium, with five bulbous pot lights staring down at the scene below,  giant eyes keeping watch like sentinels.

First impressions? Impressive.  These are real teams, on a real field with real uniforms.  I felt like I was standing on the field of Friday Night Lights, very American.  Not the Canadian apology version of the sport that I was used to, but the real deal. This is serious.  I think that makes my twelve year old son very nervous.  Its his first year playing so he didn't really know what to expect.  He thought it was a "just for fun" team, but he was wrong, we both were.

Black uniform bags line the sidelines, with water bottles and clipboards littering the ground where they have been dropped.  Players mill around in groups, stretching and warming up, waiting for the whistle to blow to start the game. These are boys of all ages, economic backgrounds, races and personalities but when they have the uniform on they are a team, they are one.

Up close and personal these boys seem to be vulgar, snot spitting, crotch scratching, motherless Neanderthals, but when the coach calls "huddle up" and the whistle blows, they become a well oiled machine. For most of the people here this is their life.  The coaches eat and breath football, coaching both high school teams as well as their son sons club ball.  The players themselves prepare for their dreams of being football stars, or maybe that is the dreams of their parents.  For myself and my son, we are just trying to figure out whether we have put the padding on in the right places and its
right side up.

The team is  Mississauga Warriors - red, white, and black.  They've had a number of championship victories and from what I have seen at practice they are going for another.  I'm excited for my son to be a part of this team and once he gets over his nervous jitters and gets into the game I can tell he is excited too.  It's a lot of time and commitment  but I love seeing the smile on his face when he comes off the field bruised and disheveled but victorious because he made a good tackle.  

Favorite Quote #2

Here is a quote I heard this month in reference to Mother's Day. I thought it was pretty good.


"Life didn't come with a manual, it came with Mother's."

-unknown

Happily Ever After!

Feeling Good at Forty.

My Prince Charming turned forty last week. Wow, when did he get so old.  The fact that he has reached this milestone age doesn't seem to phase him, for which I am glad, I do not need a forty year having one of those midlife crisis' before he is even  midlife yet.  Is forty midlife yet? I can never tell these days.
I'm freaking out a little bit. If he is forty then it is a few short years until I'm forty and I'm still trying to get used to being in my thirties. Half the time I can't remember if I am 37 or still 36 turning 37. Sometimes I have to think of what year it is before I remember yes, I am already 37 and I am turning 38. Hey, when did that happen?
I think that if I wasn't content with what I have accomplished in my life up to this point then I might be a bit more panicked about my age, but looking back I am happy with who I am and what I have done with my life.  There are a few things that I hoped I could have done better. If I am really silly and compare myself to someone else I could feel inadequate in how much wealth or material possessions I have acquired. I have learned that those things are not important or worth stressing over.  I have a beautiful family, a wonderful husband, a comfortable home and I know who I am, that is a recipe for happiness and contentment.
I am proud of my husband for all that he has accomplished in and out of our home.  I am grateful that his priorities are straight.  He works hard for his family and reaches for his dreams but he puts us first and makes us a part of his every day plans.  We have lots of fun and enjoy many great adventures together that help is grow better with age.  Beside, I love the traces of grey highlighting the edges of his hairline. Forty looks good.

Making dreams come true.

I just finished a workshop on how to get published.  This is the second workshop I have signed up for from Brian Henry. He is a writer, editor and creative writing teacher in the GTA that I discovered when I found his blog http://quick-brown-fox-canada.blogspot.ca/ while searching for a writing group to join. Another workshop of his that I am taking is a creative writing class that I take every Tuesday afternoon.   I am thoroughly enjoying all I am learning.

At the  workshop on how to get published that I went to on the weekend I had a lot of my questions answered about what to expect in the publishing world, whether or not I would need an agent to get my   work looked at and how to get an agents attention.  We also were able to meet an agent named Olga Filina who further answered our questions about what agents are looking for and their job description as to what an agent does to get a writers work published.  When the  workshop was over I felt very excited, with a renewed commitment to write, write, write and complete the writing I have started.  I am realistic enough to realize that what I am writing may not be of interest to anyone but myself but I am not daunted.  In fact, this weekend has helped re-energize my hopes and dreams and a belief in the "what if".  What if I do have something others are interested in. I won't know unless I try.

I am also really enjoying my creative writing class.  We meet in a charming old church in Burlington.  There are a number of us writers that get together to encourage each other and develop our writing. I enjoy having an audience that I can share my work with and who will respond back in critical yet encouraging ways.  It is comforting to have so many comrades  who understand the challenge of putting your thoughts and feelings out there to be judged.

After the first class two weeks ago, I went away with mixed feelings.  On the one had I enjoyed the writing exercises that we did - story starters from one line sentences.
 I enjoyed hearing everyones work, but I felt daunted because there are some really talented writers in my class and I was feeling like my work was garbage.  I know this is a common feeling when comparing ones work with another's and I know that I need to use that feeling to challenge myself  to keep writing. I believe in my words and I believe in myself.  I know I can make this dream come true.
Happily Ever After!