Thank Heavens for Little Girls.

Over the past eleven years that my husband and I have been raising children we have often been told little children come with little problems, and big children come with big problems, so enjoy them while they are young.  I must admit that I have often looked forward to when they would be more independent  and not needing me to be watching over them every minute.    My oldest is getting closer to her teen years and  I'm anticipating  the next few years to seem something like a roller coaster ride.   M is great.  She can be very reliable and helpful.  She is often my rock and a great support especially because Prince Charming travels so much for work.    I know I expect a lot from her and she rarely lets me down. I guess that is why  when she has moments of immaturity and selfishness I do not handle it well.  Nothing gets me more fired up than when M argues with me. She'll ask me for something and if I don't feel like it is a good idea she will argue with me and beg and plead until I have to just walk away in exasperation so that I don't wind up smacking her.   I've have been amazed at how many people lately, including strangers, have commented about how their teenage daughter is always arguing with them.  I'm glad to hear it.  That way I know that my daughter and I are not the only ones.   I know that I have to deal with it patiently and calmly and not take it personally.  But nothing makes me simmer faster than when I hear the words "but mom".  The teenage years are going to be quite a ride.  I guess all I can do is throw my hands into the air, try not to scream too loudly or too often, and enjoy the ride.

What is normal anyway?

What does it mean to be a "normal" family?  I think I grew up in a pretty normal family.  Nobody ever did anything too shocking or outrageous.  Mostly, we spent our time trying to blend in, not stand out too much. Therefore I felt it was a given that I would raise a pretty normal family. Well, some days I think we are all pretty whacked.  Dealing with issues from seven different personalities is exhausting.  I have one child who suffers from insomnia, bedwetting and anxiety. Another 4 year old child who likes to where princess dresses and pretend he is Anastasia.  Another child who is always so loud and intense. He loves to discuss inappropriate words and topics and feels it is his duty to tell us how "horrible his life is" every day.  I often have labels running through my head such as ADD, ADHD, Autistic tendencies, OCD, etc, etc. I'm  trying to decide if my children need medical help or if this is all "normal" childhood behaviour.  I don't know if it is a stage they will grow out of or if they need extra help.   One day I was venting to my mother and I said that I wished my children could just be normal.  Her reply was that "this is normal, every one has issues that they need to deal with." I guess these quirks are what make us unique.  They help us grow into adults with different experiences and gifts that have been developed through the challenges we faced as children.   Our trials either make us or break us.  As a mother raising five children,  my greatest prayers are that they will pull through their challenges and become stronger.  I pray that I do not mess them up by not knowing how to properly nurture them through. I imagine them later in life  telling their shrink that their mother didn't understand them.   I know the challenges that many people face are much greater than mine  and I think if I had to choose I would choose my trials anytime.    I still don't have the right answers.  Some days one thing works and the next it doesn't. But yes, we are as normal as any other crazy family is and I love it.