So we continue to have a fabulous time here in Ontario. We just went away for the weekend to a basketball tournament for M in Kingston Ontario. That is quite a neat place with very interesting architecture and history including the grave site of Sir John A. MacDonald, Fort Henry and the ominous Kingston Penitentiary - that place creeped me out. M's team was very successful in their tournament taking home their third gold metal of the tournament season.
We have enjoyed getting to know people here in the GTA. We have made some good friends and have enjoyed the great diversity of people around us. We are struggling though to have any sense of a feeling of home. I have tried to get to know my neighbours and just like any neighbourhood some people are easier to get to know than others. One set of neighbours that live right next to us have been challenging. Through a number of interactions over the last six months they have shown that they think our children are a nuisance - because they have built their snow forts in between our two drive ways - and our dog is a pest. I don't really know what they think of me or my husband because the wife has only ever said two words to me - until today - and the husband is sort of friendly in an awkward way that makes you wonder if he meant what he just said to you or did you miss understand his weird comment because his english is still a little broken. Most of our interactions have been tolerable, especially because I know we will not be living next to them for very long. Today I felt I needed to take a stand. I had asked our 11 year old son J to take our dog Hank out to play in the cul-de-sac. There is a nice fenced in area there and our yard is not big enough to lay down in let alone play fetch. Hank is still a puppy and gets very excited when other dogs come around. Well our neighbours son came into the cul-de-sac with his dog and hank took off running towards him. Like most puppies he was ready to play and he jumped on the dogs side and started nipping at the other dogs ear. Well the seventeen year old teenager asked Jack why he couldn't control his dog and became very concerned that Hank was going to cause his dog to bleed. Well J got a hold of Hank's leash and they both came home with their tails between their legs. J came in the door exclaiming that he was never taking Hank out to play again. He was embarrassed and made to feel like he had done something wrong. He told me what had happened and my mama bear instincts reared. This had been one too many times that my children had been made to feel like they were doing something wrong by people bigger and older than them and I had had enough. I have never liked it when an adult has ever yelled or reprimanded my children when they were not in an authority position to do so. Especially when they haven't done anything wrong. I don't believe in yelling at other peoples children, that is their mothers job. I had already, kindly, expressed to this family that if they had any issues with us and our dog they should come and talk to me directly and not my children or my landlord -which they have already done one time. I believe I am a reasonable person and I have already been trying to be a good neighbour. Not letting my dog bark for very long, not putting him outside too early in the morning and bringing him in if he got too noisy, but they still felt they had reason to complain - but not directly to me. I decided to go over and let the boy know that he had hurt J's feelings and to please be careful of how he talked to my son. I don't like confrontation. Especially because my temper flares fast and I get very emotional, but I felt like I needed to stand up for my son. The neighbour boy was very polite to me as always but as I was explaining my concerns his parents showed up and started adding their complaints and letting me know how irresponsible a parent and a pet owner I was. Needless to say I went from calm to loud and somewhat unChristlike. They were so unreasonable, I went away spitting nails. The part that made me even more mad was that I went away feeling like "I"had done something wrong. Boy, that was a mess. I am glad though that I stuck up for my son and my family. I know that we are not perfect. In fact, we are very imperfect, but we are trying our best. Sometimes with five kids and a dog we look very harry- carry and loud but I know that we are considerate and not intrusive. I know I let my kids do things other parents might not. Like climb to the top of a jungle gym, or to the top of a tree - I've had negative comments from parents about that before. But I hope that through these experiences I have learned to try to tolerate and let other people be who they are and try not to let them bully me into thinking my instincts are wrong. I guess my goal to make friends with those neighbours is caput. Take care all. We miss you.
